


Daddy Issues (Mal&Hades)

by FandomTrashxx



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies), Descendants (Disney Movies) RPF
Genre: Angst, Coming of Age, Descendants 3 Spoilers, Dirty Bad Wrong, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Even Villains Love Their Kids, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Hades is a Good Parent, Hades is kind of a bad parent, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Love, Love Confessions, Mal isn't alright, Movie: Descendants 3, Not so parental love, Slow Burn, Terrible parent actually, These kids have seen shit, This isn’t Disney anymore, Unresolved Sexual Tension, but not really, kind of the opposite, protective Hades, the kids aren't alright
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2020-08-23 18:20:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20247238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomTrashxx/pseuds/FandomTrashxx
Summary: You're stronger with those daddy issues.





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N. Before you tell me that no one asked for this, I'm well aware. But here we are anyway...**   
**Also, please read the tags before you read this, they're there for a reason.**   
**Also also, Mal is 18 in this. All of the VKs and Auradon students are legally consenting adults. Just had to get that out there. Now, please continue and enjoy. **

When she'd been unable to relight the ember and Audrey had turned Harry and Uma to stone, she knew Hades was her only option. Managing to escape mostly in one piece (with only a sprained or possibly fractured wrist courtesy of Audrey and the blast she'd sent hurtling towards Mal's wing as she tried to flee) Mal had borrowed a bike from the school and returned to the Isle as fast as she could.

Mal caught a glimpse of herself in the bike's mirror as she quickly drove off and cringed. Apparently being knocked out of the sky by Audrey had caused a deep purple blotch to bloom across her cheekbone and an equally angry gash across her forehead. The only comfort she took from this was that her cheekbone didn't appear to be broken.

She hadn't planned on re-visiting her father so soon after her last trip to the Isle. She'd hoped she could avoid seeing him, and un-burying all the deeply suppressed emotions that accompanied setting eyes on the man, for as long as humanly possible. Of course, things rarely go to plan, a sentiment Mal was silently cursing as she cast the spell allowing her to get to the Isle on her bike, desperation the overwhelming factor driving her back to Hades.

Before she crossed the barrier that surrounded the Isle, a sharp pain in her wrist made her glare down at the offending injury. "I swear I almost understand why the villains did what they did if all heroes throw such overblown temper tantrums," She mumbled to herself as she undid her leather jacket and tore off the bottom of her t-shirt to tightly bandage her wrist. The fact that Mal was the main cause of Audrey's said tantrum was a fact she decided wasn't worth mulling over at this exact moment in time. That could wait.

With a final glance back at Auradon, her expression sullen, Mal crossed the barrier and hurried to where Celia had taken her to see Hades the last time.

***

Mal was pleasantly surprised that when she tried the gate that led to her father's cave, it was unlocked. She supposed most people wouldn't be stupid enough to break into Hades' home unless they had a death wish. Her father may not have been as great and powerful as he once was but that didn't mean he wasn't still feared. Correction, his non-existent three-headed guard dog was still feared. A ghost of a smile settled on Mal's lips at the thought, almost enough to make her momentarily forget why exactly she was here. Of course, she quickly did remember, and the small smile was gone as she drew her lower lip behind her teeth.

As she made her way deeper into the cave, Mal faltered for the first time. "I'll take my chances," the last words she'd smirked at her father as she walked away with the ember. Clearly, her chances sucked. Perhaps Hades wouldn't help her. Then what? There was no one left in Auradon who could and the ember, Hades' ember, was the only thing powerful enough to stand a chance of stopping Audrey now.

There wasn't a real reason why Hades would help her this time. The people of Auradon had been the ones to trap him here to begin with so he no doubt believed they deserved what happened. Doing what was right had never been a belief he'd shared before and that was unlikely to change. As for Mal, well, doing what his daughter asked of him hadn't been something he'd jumped at for the past sixteen years.

Perhaps he'd have a change of heart? _ Or more likely he'd get back with mom. _ Mal thought bitterly as she climbed off the bike and removed the helmet from her head, realising both were virtually impossible.

Of course, Mal didn't have much of a choice here. A miracle that would change her father's mind was the best chance she currently had of saving Auradon, of saving Evie, Jay, Carlos, and Ben. She'd let them down tonight; she'd let everyone down. Audrey might have been right after all: Mal wasn't fit to be queen.

She pushed the thought out of her head quickly. Self-doubt wasn't something she currently had the pleasure of affording. She had to be strong. Strong enough to convince the God of the Underworld to help her at least.

Mal turned the last corner and finally caught sight of Hades, his body flung oddly gracefully over his 'throne', sunglasses on and mouth slightly agape. She stood staring for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. She opened her mouth to call out to him but stopped and softly exhaled. She pulled the unlit ember out of her pocket and held it tightly in her good hand, glancing down at her closed fist before her eyes flashed back up to her father. She took a tentative step down towards him, a flurry of words flashing through her mind but none seeming like the right ones to actually say aloud.

"I'm back again."

"Hey, dad."

"Are you always asleep?"

"You were right."

"I failed."

She'd tried to be strong, commanding, like the queen Ben kept telling her that she was going to be. But a shaky breath was all she could manage as she bit down on her lip until the tangy taste of blood assaulted her taste buds.

"Just spit it out already, the suspense is giving me a headache," came the gravelly drawl of a Hades whose nap had just been interrupted. The volume of the command snapping Mal out of her reverie and causing her body to startle backwards into a railing which she grasped onto resolutely to regain her balance, eliciting a wince as her injured wrist protested the impact.

"I... you," Mal stumbled over her words, blinking rapidly to try and clear the fog that was surrounding her brain and making words impossible to find. _ Strong and commanding. Strong and commanding._

"This is the second time you've disturbed my sleep, child. There better be a reason," Hades grumbled, the hand that was resting on his stomach falling beside him, the rings on his fingers sending an echoing sound through the cave as they hit the ground.

"You need to help me," Mal attempted commanding, body slightly shaking as one hand clutched the ember, the other the metal behind her, and she tried to keep all the emotions out of her voice. The pain, the guilt, the loneliness, but mostly the fear. VKs learnt to hide their emotions from an early age; Mal had mastered it almost as soon as she could talk. But she wasn't just a VK anymore, she wasn't just a kid from the Isle. Auradon had changed that. And that was why her voice had cracked and the command she'd tried for melted into a plea.

"Need? I don't need to do any..." Hades began, leisurely rolling his head sideward on the arm of his throne as he brought up a hand to remove his glasses, stopping mid-sentence as his eyes finally caught sight of his daughter. Mal was a strong young woman, this much he knew. Even if his previous conversation was all he had to go off of, and he hadn't been keeping an eye on her for the past sixteen years, he would know that much. She could handle a lot of crap, growing up on the Isle without her father ensuring it.

This was why, the ever-present furrow of his brow softened, and he abruptly sat up when his eyes caught sight of Mal, body trembling, lips chewed red, and knuckles turned white. Only something truly awful could pull such a fierce reaction from her.

"What happened?" He asked flatly. Despite the decidedly emotionless tone, Mal could see the man was, at least to a degree, concerned. As concerned as Hades knew how to be anyway. To Mal, the words held more emotion than she had ever seen from her father which was why she almost choked out a sob.

Her wide green eyes bore into his in earnest. Her eyes had always been the feature that showed the most emotion, right now, a dark forest exuding pain and loss and fear. Her grip on the rail behind her ceased, her arm falling limp as the pain in her wrist flared up once more. She took a shaky breath as she contemplated the posed question: what happened?

In a sense the answer was simple: I screwed up. But the words caught in her constricting throat as she mindlessly took a few steps forwards, down the stairs towards where her father now stood. She was tired, emotionally and physically, and the way she moved showed as much. She walked slowly forwards, almost as if she was sleep-walking; she wished she was, wished this was all a bad dream, that she hadn't failed everyone so spectacularly. She was to be queen and she couldn't even protect Auradon.

Her grip on the ember never wavered, whether it was because she was so unfocused that she didn't realise it was digging sharply into her skin or whether it was a subconscious effort to hide her failure from her father she didn't know. Maybe both. Probably both.

Hades' stormy eyes followed his daughter's movement's closely. An eternity of dealing with damned souls had made him somewhat of an expert in reading people's self-hatred, and Mal reeked of it. Though he'd seldom deny that his parenting was lacklustre at best, he had always cared; he loved Mal. And the obvious grief his daughter was in and the eternal battle she appeared to be losing was heart-breaking. He took a step forward to meet her, the pair within touching distance.

"I tried," She muttered, eyes downcast, determined not to let her father see the tears swimming in her green eyes. Comforting parents had been something severely lacking in her life up until now and she didn't exactly imagine Hades was about to regret sixteen years of neglect and become the world's number one dad. No. The more likely response to seeing his daughter cry over people he himself likely despised, was a sarcastic remark, perhaps even laughter if he was feeling particularly wicked.

The fact that neither of these came was the first pleasant surprise of the night. Not that Mal was focussing enough to actually realise, mind far too distracted on the people she was soon supposed to rule over and how she'd managed to fail them so spectacularly.

"I couldn't save them. You were right, I'm not Hades-enough," She choked out a bitter chuckle, glaring down at the faded ember in her palm. Her eyes traced the ugly red lines it left on her hand, almost disappointed it hadn't broken skin. "I'm not bad enough to be bad or good enough to be good anymore."

It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed her mind. It'd been there, niggling its way out since she'd handed fairy godmother back her wand at Ben's coronation. Perhaps even before that, from the first step she'd taken in Auradon. Mal didn't know when the thought had first appeared, but this certainly wasn't the first time. It was, however, the first time she'd spoken it aloud. And the tidal wave of emotion behind that one sentence being uttered to the world was enough to make her physically stumble backwards.

Instinctively, Hades took a step closer to his daughter, his hands reaching up to grab Mal's forearms and draw her towards himself, wrapping her up tightly. It was strange and unbelievably uncharacteristic of the god of the underworld. Physical emotion- rather any emotion- was avoided at all costs. But it didn't feel wrong. In fact, the overwhelming 'rightness' of Mal in Hades' arms would have been disconcerting had Hades not been otherwise focussed on the silent sobs coming from the girl in his arms.

The pair stood silently, holding onto one another as if their lives depended on it, Mal's body trembling as Hades' tentatively brought one of his hands up to softly stroke her hair in a motion he hoped to be calming. Had Mal been any other girl and Hades any other parent, she might have expected a slur of soothing words of approval but for her, the solid arms wrapping her tightly and the calming scent of leather was more than enough.

Mal was no china doll, far from it, everyone knew that. This meant, of course, tenderness wasn't something she experienced often. But the way Hades held her like she might break, carded calloused hands through purple hair as though it was fine silk, caused her heart to stop before thrumming at the speed of a hummingbird. Even Ben, one of the most caring people she knew wasn't _ this _ soft with her.

Comforting Mal was instinctual. Though Hades had not held the girl in such a way since she was a baby, nor had he ever held another this way, he simply reacted. Silken hair slipped through weathered hands as he pulled back, crouching slightly so his blue eyes met green.

"Of course, you aren't Hades-enough," the words would have stung had they not been quickly followed by a sentence that warmed her so deeply she was almost scared she might ignite. "You're only half-Hades," he smiled, thumb tracing a pink-flushed cheekbone as he wiped away a fallen tear. "You're the very best half, all the good bits, like a Hades top ten."

Mal felt her heart swell, knowing how highly the man thought of himself and realising exactly what those words meant to him. Of all the compliments her father could give, that was the most powerful. Hades seemed to realise just how much he'd revealed to the girl at the same time she did and internally cringed at how soft he'd sounded. Leaving Mal, abandoning her, was as much to make her strong as it was to stop himself from becoming weak.

"I mean, we all know the remake is never as good as the original, but you can try," He added quickly, taking a step back to lean against the arm of his throne. He did, however, stay subconsciously close enough to be able to reach out and grab Mal again if he needed to.

"Asshole," Mal said, the word holding less bite than it usually might have. Despite the insult, she was unable to hide the slight upturn of her lips as she rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. She needed to recollect herself; Auradon was in danger and although no teenager should quite literally have the weight of the world on their shoulders, Mal did. Her burden was written clearly across her face, thoughts flicking behind her eyes like wildfire.

Hades could see her spiralling further and further down the rabbit hole. He was far more in touch with his emotions than most would believe, a lifetime of holding his cards close ensuring this was kept a secret, and he could tell that was a trait Mal had inherited. In an attempt to snap her out of her brilliant mind, he repeated his earlier question.

"What happened?" He asked, his tone calm yet firm enough to break through to her.

Mal's eyes refocussed on the man before her as she blinked herself out of her head. She passed her tongue over her dry lips before she tried to tackle the question. Knowing she couldn't let her emotions get the better of her this time around, she softly started to explain.

***

At some point during her story, Mal had once again stepped closer to Hades, subconsciously seeking the comfort he'd shown her before as she leant on the chair beside him. She spoke of lies: the ones she'd told the ones she loved the most, and the ones she'd told herself. She recalled how Audrey had come to her first, how she was to blame for the princess's rebellion. She told him of how she'd failed to save them all and how she'd failed even the simplest of tasks: keeping the ember dry. At this, the man let out a low chuckle.

"So, you got the ember wet? Easy mistake." Hades said with something he hoped akin to reassurance in his voice as he playfully nudged her shoulder with his. "I once dropped it in a bowl of soup," he added, relishing the small laugh and, for lack of a better word, adorable snort that came from beside him.

"Let me guess, the vegetables were looking at you funny," Mal grinned as Hades let out an unimpressed huff. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Mal sighed, leaning her head against the man's shoulder.

"I keep thinking this is all just a dream," she sighed, playing with the ember she still held in her hands. "Even this, us," she said the words slipping past her lips before she could think about them. It was true though, being like this with her father, just having a proper conversation with him, felt like a dream. One she'd never admit to having as often as she did.

She didn't look up at Hades after she spoke, not really expecting a reaction out of him. She wasn't naïve enough to think that this had changed anything. Mal had shown up upset and he'd made sure she was okay, nothing more. If he'd wanted more, he wouldn't have left all those years ago; or he at least would have tried to see her since. At this disappointing revelation, she shook the sinking feeling that this was probably one of the only times she'd actually be able to be like this around the man, and stood up, putting a few feet between them.

"I may not be able to, but you can relight the ember," she said, and after a few seconds hesitation added, "will you?" She anxiously played with the makeshift bandage she'd tied around her wrist, looking at him hopefully. Mal knew she couldn't- shouldn't- let Hades through the barrier. But she didn't care. She needed his help.

Hades' eyes flashed down for a second, mentally noting the clearly injured arm before they came back up to look into Mal's. If there had been any doubt that he'd do as she asked, it disappeared the second he looked into her wide green eyes, looking more like a lost puppy than should be physically allowed.

"Come on, sweet pea. You've got a kingdom to save," Hades grinned, head quirking towards the exit. He resolutely ignored the warmth that seeped through his chest at the blinding smile Mal set his way before hurrying off out of the cave.

The pet name was one of the only memories she had of Hades before he'd left, and it left her cheeks aching as she beamed up at him before turning away. The smile slowly faded as they walked out of the cave as the reality of the situation once again hit her.

As much as she wanted to believe that the man had changed, she couldn't be sure. And taking him just far enough outside of the barrier to relight the ember was all she could allow. He was Hades, and although she had always had reliable intuition, she wasn't so conceited as to believe the god of the underworld couldn't trick her into thinking he'd changed when he hadn't. No matter how badly she hoped he had. No matter how badly she hoped he'd change for her.


	2. TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N. Thank you so much for the response to this idea I had. I guess people wanted more so here more is.**

Walking out of the cave was a strange experience, almost as if they were leaving the bubble they’d found themselves in and re-entering the real world. Neither of them spoke for a long time, just enjoying the other’s company.

At some point during their walk, Hades’ hand had found itself on the small of Mal’s back. Initially, it had been placed there to direct her in a different direction when she’d almost taken the wrong tunnel, but he’d never removed it after this and Mal hadn’t seemed to notice or care enough to mention it.

Occasionally, Mal would have to remind herself that this wasn’t actually real. Yes, it was happening and yes, it was reality, but it wasn’t real. Despite everything that had happened since Mal had once again stepped foot on the Isle, despite the concerned eyes and comforting arms she’d been welcomed with, it wasn’t Hades; it wasn’t her father. Not the one she knew- or rather didn’t _ know_.

Hades wasn’t, and had never pretended to be, a good parent. He’d never done a thing for her which didn’t benefit himself or have some other ulterior motive. He’d left Mal to make her strong- or to make himself less weak. He’d spent years keeping an eye on here, asking whoever he could how she was because he wanted to make sure she was okay- or because he didn’t want her causing trouble leading back to him. He’d given her the ember to help his daughter- or to stop the world, _his_ world, from ending. He’d comforted her in an attempt to make her feel better- or to stop her from blubbering so he could catch up on his beauty rest. He’d never deny that his motives to help were un-pure. It’s not like he was trying to make up for all the years he’d lost. He wasn’t trying to make things right with Mal. That’s what he told himself anyway.

As they reached the gate that separated their private bubble from reality, Mal let out a soft sigh. After stepping through this gate, not only would she have the future of Auradon once again resting on her shoulders, but she’d lose this. Back to reality meant back to pretending Hades wasn’t her father, pretending she hadn’t been abandoned, maybe even pretending what everyone else believed to be true: that her father was dead. Anything to stop herself from thinking she just wasn’t good enough, that she didn’t deserve a loving father.

Honestly, the time she’d been able to spend with Hades had been more than she’d hoped she’d get. But a selfish part of her wanted more. She’d managed to live her life without a father up until now, but it seemed so much harder to step away when she’d caught a glimpse of what they could have- who Hades could be.

So, as she pushed open the gates, which groaned with lack of use, she took a deep breath, schooled her emotions, and stepped away from the warmth of the hand on her back. “I understand that reclusement is kind of your thing, so you might not be familiar with this,” Mal said with a wry grin as she motioned around herself, the humoured light not quite reaching her eyes. “This is called fresh air.”

Mal took a deep breath to exaggerate her point and let out a satisfied moan. “See, if you breathe deeply enough you almost can’t make out of the scent of sewage and dirt.”

Hades offered an incredulous smile, wondering how someone who was clearly in as much pain as Mal was, was able to put on a brave face and make a joke. Pride flooded through him, warming him from the inside out. He masked the smile within a second of it appearing on his face with a low groan and a “Don’t be a smartass.” The slight twinkle in Mal’s eyes was the only sign that the smile had ever even happened.

“My father’s Hades, what do you expect?” Smirking, she gracefully swung her leg over the bike she’d _borrowed_ earlier, glad no one had been stupid enough to steal it this time. She didn’t feel like swimming back to Auradon when she left the Isle.

She glanced over her shoulder, quirking her head towards the back of the bike, already expecting the reaction she was about to receive. “Hop on then,” She grinned, knowing full-well Hades wasn’t the type to ride on the back of a motorbike, that he’d likely take offence at the suggestion. But hey, she’d been raised a villain, teasing was in her blood.

Mal was far from disappointed when any trace of humour vanished from Hades’ eyes- eyes which within seconds had turned icy and sunken below his furrowed brow. He let out a small scoffed “no”, crossing his arms over his chest, and leaning back against the gate. Mal had to hold back a chuckle as the picture before her blurred with a child throwing a tantrum. The two almost indistinguishable. She raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“Go ahead, take as long as you need,” Mal said with a sweet smile. “It’s not like it’s the end of the world.” Her smile fell and she brought her eyes up to lock onto Hades’ as she added, “oh wait, it is.”

Hades glared as he pushed himself away from the metal and slowly walked towards Mal. Perhaps stalked was a more suitable word as the look in the man’s eyes was nothing short of predatory. If looks could kill, Mal was sure she’d be six feet under. He moved around to the front of the bike, arms resting against the frame as he bent to be level with his daughter. Blue eyes met green as a low growl slipped past Hades’ lips.

“Back of the bike,” he said lowly, gaze unblinking. And so they stared, for what felt like an eternity or perhaps only a few moments, neither was sure. Mal was stubborn, but it was no secret that Hades was too. People had said she could outlive God trying to get her way. Of course, she’d never actually been trying to get her way with an actual god before.

Eventually, Mal’s mouth fell open, argument poised on the tip of her tongue. But she didn’t speak. She swallowed the words when she saw the slight twitch of her father’s left eye knew she had to be the one of back down. They’d already spent too long staring one another down and time was already sparse. With every second Mal spent here, Audrey’s power grew and Mal’s chances of victory diminished.

So, with more grumbling than strictly necessary, and a pout that was borderline comical, Mal pushed herself backwards, making space for Hades to sit in front of her. Despite the rules she’d learned to follow in Auradon, doing something she was told to when she didn’t want to do it, was still as irritating as before she’d left the Isle.

Hades didn’t move for a second, waiting for Mal to snap her irritated eyes back up to his before he straightened up. It was nice to see that despite all these years, he could still be the annoying parent.

“Good girl,” He winked, taking a step forward before throwing his leg over the bike, mimicking the grace Mal had demonstrated before.

A small shiver passed through Mal as the tips of her ears tinted pink. She was unused to praise from her father and she knew her reaction had been because of this. The twinge in her stomach that told her differently was pushed aside, bigger things to currently worry about. She let out another irritated sound, once again biting her tongue to hold back the smart remark she so desperately wanted to offer.

Hades’ eyes flicked to the bike's mirror, glancing back at the clearly exasperated Mal behind him and couldn’t help but poke her more. “Grab on then, I thought you had a kingdom to save,” He said, relishing in the way the deep red flooded Mal’s face before she finally grabbed his sides and he drove off.

***

The ride to the edge of the barrier seemed both eternal and fleeting. In a sense, Mal knew that time was not on her side and the sooner she returned to Auradon, the more likely she would be able to stop Audrey’s magic. In another, she was aware that the second she stepped off the Isle, everyone was relying on her.

The burden sat heavy on her shoulders, weighing her down mentally and physically, and she slumped forward slightly, head resting on the worn leather covering Hades’ back. She managed to push aside the sinking feeling in her stomach, focussing on how she was going to stop Audrey, not on the fact that this was one of the last times she’d likely see her father; at least the last time they’d both act this way with one another.

As the bike pulled to a stop a few metres from the barrier, she took a deep breath. Had Mal not spent the best part of her life trying to break through the barrier, she could almost pretend it wasn’t there. Other than the slight shimmer of gold, there was very little physical evidence that the barrier even existed- perhaps it was to give the illusion of freedom, the heroes who put it there not wanting to be too cruel. She almost let out a bitter laugh at the idea, recent events had proved just how similar so-called villains and heroes actually were.

Letting her arms fall from where she gripped Hades’ sides and lifting her head up slowly, Mal let out a sigh.

“You know you can’t come with me?” She spoke, the words sounding more like a question than the statement they were supposed to be. She hoped he could hear the apology concealed within her words, knowing she couldn’t take him with her, and being happy about that were two different things.

Hades had been right the first time she’d visited, Mal may have his blood but the ember wouldn’t work for her like it would for him. She could try, but there was a chance it wouldn’t work, a chance that wouldn’t be an issue if he was the one to use the ember. But, despite wanting to, Mal couldn’t trust him, not with this, not with going to Auradon.

“Course not,” Hades replied, fists which held onto the bike’s handles tightening slightly. He’d had no desire to leave the Isle for years now, accepting that it was now his home. But he couldn’t stop the wave of disappointment than ran through him. He’d managed to momentarily forget who he was: forget that he was the god of the underworld, forget that he was a villain, he’d even managed to forget that he was a lousy father. And it was because of Mal.

The irony wasn’t lost on him. The reason why he’d left her in the first place, to avoid becoming soft or too attached, was the exact reason why he didn’t want her to leave now. Mal had already started to melt his heart and as much as it terrified him, he didn’t want her to stop. Despite this revelation, he couldn’t let Mal know. The instinct to protect himself overriding his need to open himself up.

“Besides, what would I have in Auradon? I’m sure there aren’t nearly enough shadows to slink around in,” he said, grinning at Mal when he caught her eye in the mirror. Practised indifference keeping his desire to leave with her out of his eyes.

Mal forced a small laugh, managing to swallow the “you’d have me,” that danced on the tip of her tongue. There was no point wishing for something that was so impossible, she knew that. Of course, that didn’t mean the thought would disappear.

She reached into her pocket for the switch that would open the barrier, hesitating for only a moment as she glanced around to ensure they weren’t being followed before she pressed it.

The invisible wall shimmered brightly as it opened, and Mal was momentarily taken back to the first time she’d left the Isle, excited yet quietly terrified of what was to come. Turns out she’d had a right to be scared: saving a sleeping Auradon half turned to stone wasn’t exactly in the Auradon Prep brochure. A small jolt as the bike’s engine kicking back in shook her out of her memory as Mal and Hades rode to the edge of the broken bridge, the barrier snapping closed behind them.

***

Mal’s eyes followed Hades for a short while, the man simply standing by the edge and looking out over the water into the dark. The bright lights that usually illuminated Auradon had gone out, no doubt courtesy of Audrey, but the faint shine of moon-bleached stones on the shore still managed to glow as the water’s ripples lit up with bands of silver moonlight.

Had Mal been just another girl from Auradon, his reaction, his fascination, may have confused her. But Mal understood.

On the Isle, beauty was rare. Clouds hung heavy above it, blocking sun and moon alike. It had taken Mal more time than she cared admit to become used to moonlight streaming through her curtains as she fell asleep or to remember to use sun cream – her pale skin not taking well to sunlight. The point was that people who lived on the Isle, even those who’d not been there their entire lives, always seemed to hold the same wonder in their eyes when they passed the barrier.

And try as she might, Mal wasn’t able to stop the sinking feeling from settling in her gut that she was going to be the one to put Hades back, to take it all away from him again. That was why she simply watched, allowing him a few moments to really see the world before returning to the shadows.

A short while passed like this, Hades watching the water and Mal watching him, knowing this was likely the last time she could for a while, before he turned towards her. His expression was carefully schooled, as his head tilted slightly to the side looking at Mal.

“I’m gonna need that ember now. Unless the whole ‘help me relight the ember’ thing was just a way to get me off the Isle,” He grinned, mimicking Mal’s voice, ensuring he sounded overly whiny as he did so.

“I do not sound like that,” Mal snapped incredulously, though even she couldn’t deny that the pitch of her voice didn’t rise significantly with her response. Her cheeks to flared red as she narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her, more annoyed with the fact she’d just proven that his impression was fairly accurate than the impression itself.

“Course not sweet pea,” Hades winked, palm outstretched as he expectantly waited for the ember.

“You’re an ass,” Mal huffed, shoving the ember into his hand before crossing her arms over her chest and pouting in a way that looked nothing short of an irritated child. Despite her mild annoyance, she couldn’t completely ignore the butterflies that came from hearing the nickname again.

Hades’ responding laughter only made Mal huff again, though she had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from smiling fondly up at him. She watched as he slowly ran his thumb across the blue stone, almost as if reacquainting himself with the ember, before he tossed it into the air.

Mal’s eyes widened, fixed on the ember as it burst to light above them, before landing easily back in Hades’ open palm. She blinked once, twice, before her gaze moved back up towards eyes that were brighter than they’d been seconds before, almost glowing.

“Hey, I guess I’ve still got it,” Hades smirked, rolling his shoulders and letting out a sated groan as his hair came alight. Mal couldn’t help but stare at the man, the god, before her. Despite when her father had attempted to escape the Isle, she’d never seen him like this, eyes burning blue, hair on fire. It was no surprise people found him intimidating, Mal was captivated.

“Yeah,” She said through a breathy laugh, “I guess you do.” Even as she spoke, Mal kept her eyes locked on Hades, transfixed. It was as if she was seeing him for the first time, and in a way, she was. Mal knew how magic felt, it was a part of her in a way she couldn’t describe. The first time she’d returned to the Isle, she’d felt as if something was missing; it’d taken a while to realise what it was- magic. Since then she hadn’t spent longer than a day there and whenever she returned to Auradon she’d feel her magic return and find herself complete again.

This was Hades becoming complete again.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Hades’ words snapped her out of her thoughts as she physically startled, too distracted to think up a witty comeback, instead mumbling a quiet “sorry” as colour inched up her neck. He shook his head slightly with a smile, mentally noting he liked being the one to put the rosy colour on Mal’s cheeks.

“First order of business,” He said, gently taking hold of Mal’s injured wrist, wrapping his hands around it. “Can’t have the saviour of the world walking around with a broken wrist.”

A warm feeling crept up her arm as the dull ache she’d managed to forget was there slowly dissipated. A similar warmth flooded her chest, one magic wasn’t responsible for, as she saw the concern in Hades’ eyes. She’d spent a lifetime thinking he hadn’t cared for her, and the revelation that he did, even in the slightest, was more than welcome. “Thanks,” she smiled.

“It’s ironic isn’t it,” Hades laughed dryly, “the villains stopping the heroes from destroying the world- the world they locked us away from.” For a second, Mal saw hurt flash through his eyes, rather than the anger she’d been expecting. It was the same look the kids on the Isle had before they’d announced VK day. It was the look she expected she’d see when the announcement was made that the programme was to be shut down. Mal swallowed thickly as she remembered the disappointment in Evie’s eyes and betrayal in Uma’s.

“That’s not to say we didn’t deserve it. I’m evil after all,” Hades added with a wicked grin which didn’t reach his eyes when he saw Mal’s crestfallen look. Her eyes snapped up to meet his, frowning.

“No, you’re not,” Mal said, her tone leaving no room for argument. Hades was taken aback by the certainty she spoke with, surprised with how sure she seemed to be with her judgement of him. His argument was cut off as her eyes narrowed at him, almost daring him to contradict her. The fire behind her eyes reminded him more of himself than he’d care to admit.

“Perhaps not tonight,” He finally replied with a smile, one that was meant to carefully conceal his true emotions. Mal could still see them though, she found it strangely easy to read his eyes: desire to be better, hope things could change, quiet delight that someone didn’t look at him as a monster. But most of all, Mal saw the way he looked at her. Hades looked at Mal as she did he- longingly.

Practically strangers, realistically that was all they were. But they were undeniably similar, in a way that made Mal feel like she knew him, really knew him. The notion itself was terrifying, ridiculous and absurd, but it made her smile. A sad smile, a knowing smile, the smile of knowing something good was about to end.

“Here,” Hades said, offering the ember to her with a smile which mirrored Mal’s. As her fingers wrapped around it, brushing faintly against Hades’, sparks burst, bright and blue. _Magic_. Mal glanced back up, eyes landing on Hades’ hair as the blue flames died out.

“Maybe one day I’ll teach you how,” Hades said, reaching out to wrap a strand of purple hair around a finger, watching as it slipped through his grasp, before tucking it behind Mal’s ear. The words and action seeming to surprise Hades almost as much as they did Mal, though he made no attempt to retract the offer as he slowly drew back his hand.

“I have to go,” She spoke after a moment. The sad smile returned, painted across her face, eyes glassy, voice soft. After a clear moment of hesitation which flickered through electric eyes like lightning, she felt arms wrap tightly around her and a faint, “It’ll be okay,” whispered into her hair.

In Hades’ arms was soon becoming one of her favourite places to be, body melting against worn leather. His arms made the night warmer somehow, seemingly making her chances of winning, saving the people she was to rule over, a little less impossible, the future less bleak.

_Safe. Warm. Secure._ In Hades’ arms, Mal felt them all. Perhaps most startlingly, she felt an overwhelming sense of home.

And it was this, the lingering warmth of arms wrapped tightly around her and soft lips brushing the top of her head, that played through her mind as she rode back to Auradon, a silent tear slipping down her cheek.


	3. THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** A chapter. lol. **   
**I was planning on writing something here to explain where I went for three months but decided the mystery was more exciting. **   
**Maybe I was abducted by aliens? Perhaps undertaking a mission for MI5? Maybe I was sworn into a secret religion that doesn't allow you online?**   
**I guess you guys will never know.**   
**Thanks again for all the amazing comments, I hope this will do for now. **

In a blink, Mal was back. Back in Auradon, back in danger, back in real life.

Her eyes were trained on Audrey as she paraded before the school, fingers running along Uma’s statue. The gleeful spark in her eyes would have gone unnoticed by most, but it was one Mal was familiar with- mischief. She was evidently proud of what she’d managed to accomplish and for a moment, Mal could do nothing but watch. She was angry, not just with Audrey but with herself. She was the one who had pushed Audrey to this; it was Mal’s fault.

The bitter taste of self-loathing flooded Mal’s senses, her mind having always been her worst enemy. The only thing stopping her from spiralling was the warmth of the ember pulsing in her hands. _Hades._ As the name flashed before her subconscious, the tension seemed to leave her body, like water bursting through a dam. She’d managed to let everyone down in the last 24 hours, she wouldn’t let her father down to.

“This isn’t you,” Mal would have congratulated herself on the strength behind her words had the situation been less dire. The fact that Audrey had already succeeded in cursing all of Auradon was forgotten as Mal stood before her, not seeing a villain but a girl who felt betrayed and alone. “You don’t have to do this, Audrey. I can help you fix all of this.”

She seemed to realise too late that those were possibly the world words she could have spoken as a flash of light was sent spiralling towards her, Mal narrowly managing to dodge it.

“You, help me? Like you helped your friends?” Audrey mocked, her eyes shining. “You couldn’t help anyone,” She knew she was right, Mal knew she was right. She’d spent the past hours pretending she was helping, that she knew what she was doing but she didn’t. Not really. Mal had already let everyone down. Even if she did manage to beat Audrey, it wasn’t really a win. All she was doing was trying to solve the shitshow that she’d started.

If only for a minute, if only momentarily, Mal knew she couldn’t think like that if she was to stop Audrey. Believing she could stop her was half of the battle. And like that, she managed to shut off the overwhelmingly large part of her brain that was blaming herself- telling her she’d fail. The part of her brain which knew that even if she did win, she won’t have actually _won_ anything. Not really. But she managed to detach herself, build a wall and hide behind it as the ember flared to life.

For a short while it was a blur, flashes of light seemingly coming from everywhere, until it all stopped.

Mal stumbled backward, her chest heaving as she watched Audrey’s body slump to the ground. “I did it,” she whispered to herself, glancing at the ember as a small smile graced her lips. She’d done it, she’d won.

Her rapid heart began to even as she let out a soft chuckle, “I did it.”

And then the moment was gone, wall crumbling down, as she looked back up and saw Audrey’s body lying unnaturally still on the ground. The ember fell from her hand as her arm fell limp beside her and her heart stuttering to a halt. “I did _that_,” she choked, unable to make her body move any closer.

Time seemed to stop for a few moments. There was Mal: standing, breath catching, hands trembling. And there was Audrey: lying, eyes glazed, entirely motionless.

And then time started and Mal was being shaken. There was a voice she recognised but couldn’t place, praising her for doing something she never wanted to do. There were other voices, but Mal couldn’t distinguish any of them. All she could focus on was the blood rushing through her ears as she stumbled forward, grabbing the ember before falling onto her knees before the lifeless princess.

_I did that._

She muttered something, practically incoherent as she held the glowing stone to Audrey’s cheek, willing her to wake with everything she had. The irony wasn’t wasted on her as she tried to wake the daughter of the woman Maleficent had tried to keep asleep. But of course, nothing happened. Mal wasn’t Hades. The ember wouldn’t work the same for her as it did for him. And here she was, left once more, wishing that her father was beside her to fix another of her mistakes.

*****

Mal didn’t speak. She was silent as she watched the world rush by. People piling in and out of Audrey’s room, most still not quite believing that it had been one of their own that’d cursed the people of Auradon. Of course, any bitterness they may have held against the princess vanished the second they laid eyes on her motionless form. She lay still on her bed, perhaps easily mistaken to be asleep. But Mal knew; Audrey was fading, and fading fast. And she could do nothing to change what she’d done, no matter how hard she willed the ember to wake her, no matter how much she drew on her magic. So Mal didn’t speak.

Her silence went unnoticed for a long while as people fussed over Audrey. Mal hated herself for the sourness that filled her mouth as she saw how easily Audrey was forgiven by everyone. She knew it wasn’t really Audrey’s fault, that she had been the one to push her into doing it, but the thought that clouded this rational part of her head was that if it’d been a VK, they’d immediately be banished back to the Isle. She tried to shake it; it hadn’t been a VK so what use was she dwelling on it?

In fact, what use was she at all? Every time she tried to one of her mistakes, she seemed to make it worse. None of this would have happened if she wasn’t there, if she was still on the Isle. None of this would have happened if she hadn’t stolen someone’s boyfriend, their life. None of this would have happened if she’d just been honest with everyone instead of lying to everyone she cared for.

A part of her brain registered that she was spiralling again but she didn’t care enough to stop it. She wanted to fade into the background, avoid the blame she put on herself and the blame everyone would surely put on her when Audrey slipped away. There’d be questions: ones she didn’t want to answer and ones she simply couldn’t. So, she stayed silent and still, hoping if she stayed long enough, she’d disappear.

Ben was far more aware than most people knew and so Mal wasn’t really surprised that he was the first to notice her silence. She could feel his eyes boring into the side of her head as she blankly stared at Audrey, but she didn’t look up. Ben was far too noble to blame her for all of this, likely taking the burden upon himself. Mal couldn’t allow that; Ben didn’t deserve it. She could faintly hear the murmured conversations of the people in the room around her, one standing out from the rest.

_She’s slipping away._

Mal knew the words to be true, Audrey had mere hours left. And having wracked her brain for a way to solve the mess she’d created, one word once again swam before her eyes. Someone she realised she was beginning to rely on far more than she’d hoped she ever would.

“There’s only one person who might be able to do something,” Mal said, voice hoarse, echoing in the room which seemingly silenced in surprise at her words. She knew she had to try, even if he refused to help, even if it meant letting go of her most closely guarded secret. She met Evie’s eyes momentarily, guilt flooding her as she was met with nothing but warmth, no sign of anger despite Mal having lied to her. “We need Hades.”

The immediate disbelief that Hades would help and the concern of what he might do if he was let out wasn’t unexpected. Just a few days prior they’d seen the man try to escape and ‘attack’ her. But she knew the next words would be harder to swallow.

“Actually, he might do it for me,” She said, eyes falling to her hand which had absentmindedly been squeezing the ember. “He’s my father.”

Ben looked unnerved when Mal finally brought her eyes up to his. She couldn’t blame him. The fact that Hades was her father had been a secret all her life; a secret that she’d lied about to just about everyone in her life: _my father’s dead, I never knew him, mom never told me. _Lies she’d spent her whole life spewing to the people she cared about. After what had happened with Uma at the Royal Cotillion, Ben and Mal had promised no more lies. And Ben’s wounded expression as he realised that even that had been a lie, hurt more than Mal dared admit. 

*****

It didn’t take long for the guards to arrive back in Auradon, eyes closely following Hades’ movements as he walked into Audrey’s room. Mal’s eyes were also closely trained on her father, the tension in her body dissipating the second she caught sight of him. She chose not to think about the effect Hades’ presence had on her, pushing it under the rug to think of it at a better time- preferably never.

“Thank you for coming,” she said, voice stronger than she knew she really was.

“Didn’t have much choice,” He replied, eyes scanning the room, landing on Ben as he stepped forward to speak. Mal knew there were other, more important, things going on, but that didn’t stop the sharp stab she felt when Hades resolutely didn’t meet her eyes. Or the way her heart seemingly sank when he dismissed the idea that he’d actually come because he wanted to help her.

The conversation going on around her sounded distant as she continued to look at her father, wide-eyed and silent. _Why won’t he look at me? _Mal repeatedly asked herself, stuck in her head- something she’d been doing increasingly more often recently.

One sentence managed to break through her mental babble, however. _One of your own_. Her father voices her earlier thought and the room fell quiet. Of course, he was right, and everyone knew it. Audrey had nearly destroyed the world; and, even though Mal knew it to be her fault more than the princesses’, she also knew that if the roles had been reversed and a ‘villain’ had done what Audrey had, no one would be desperately finding a way to save them.

Mal focussed in on the conversation now, interested in how anyone would respond. No one did. No one did because there wasn’t a response which wouldn’t show their prejudices, prejudices that they had spent months trying to prove to be ridiculous. Mal glanced at Evie’s crestfallen expression, at Carlos’ deep frown, at Ben’s disappointment in his own people. She knew that despite everything, the villains and heroes would always be treated differently, be punished differently, be forgiven differently.

When the silence in the room felt thick enough to slice, Hades finally spoke again, “yeah, I’m gonna have to use my hands.” The words made Mal’s breath hitch, something inside of her stomach clenching as her mouth became dry. Colour bloomed across her pale cheeks and she was eternally grateful that neither her father’s eyes nor anyone else’s were on her. She didn’t understand the sudden reaction her body had just expressed but she knew thinking about it for too long would drive her insane, so she quickly tried to push it away, willing the colour to drain from her face.

A soft cough brought her attention back to Hades, her eyes meeting his for the first time since he’d gotten here. The way his eyes flicked around her face told Mal that he’d seen it, the remnants of the blush that had assaulted her face moments before. She was embarrassed, cheeks threatening to bloom with colour again, but she refused to look away from the icy blue of her father’s eyes.

His lifted hand stayed unnoticed for a moment, as they stared at one another. Mal felt overwhelmed. She was back in Hades’ cave, panicking and upset, and all she wanted was to take a step forward, to be engulfed in the scent of worn leather and something rich and earthy that she’d found so comforting. But reality hit and the spell was broken as she realised that they were no longer in the cave, they were no longer alone.

She brought the ember up hesitantly. Unlike everyone else in the room, she wasn’t hesitant because Hades could try something the second he had the ember. No, she was hesitant because she knew that the second that he had the ember, he would go back to avoiding her eyes and the warm feeling she’d had since he looked at her would disappear. She knew that she didn’t have a choice though; Hades needed the ember to save Audrey. So, she slowly dropped the ember into her father’s palm, noting the small flicker in his eyes as her fingertips brushed against his.

The sight of his hair igniting was no less magnificent than it had been the last time she saw it; the glow of blue flames atop his head mirrored in his eyes. Then suddenly, he was growling and Mal’s stomach dropped, her jaw doing the same. The sound was guttural, the distinct rasp of her father’s voice something primal. Whether it was a warning or a challenge, Mal couldn’t be sure, but her body seemd certain of one thing as she slowly leant forward- mouth agape, eyes wide. She was transfixed by the sound emanating from her father’s lips, so unlike anything she’d heard before, struck by an abrupt need to hear every other sound Hades was capable of making. Every noise that could pass his lips.

The spell was only broken when the Beast’s own snarl registered and Mal was overcome with a sudden sense of guilt. Unsure of what exactly she was guilty of- whether it be the fascination or unexpected desire she did not know- Mal called out to her father to stop the challenge he seemed to be starting and let her eyes flicker to the unconscious princess on the bed. The silent plea enough to compel him to make his way over to the end of Audrey’s bed.

Mal had only caught glimpses of what Hades could really do- when he’d healed her hand, when they’d fought on the bridge- but nothing could prepare her for this. Much like everyone else in the room, she was entranced. The room was engulfed by a bright haze, a whirlwind of blue of which Hades was the epicentre.

Had Mal’s eyes not been so resolutely locked on his face, she likely would have missed the slight crease in his brow, the clear discomfort in his eyes. Audrey was on the brink of death and bringing her back was clearly a more difficult feat than Hades wished to acknowledge; beneath the drama and bravado, Mal could see the strain on her father’s face and was flooded with a sense of respect she’d so rarely felt towards him. The admiration increasing tenfold as Audrey took her first gasping breath and Mal released one she’d been unaware of holding.

The eyes that had been so captivated by Hades moments prior fell onto the princess, worried expressions falling, and sighs released. Audrey’s grandmother, who’d scarcely let go of her hand, spoke in relief but Mal was still too distracted to take any notice.

She was trying not to stare, she really was, but how could she help it? Hades stood there, hair ablaze- alight in a way he’d promised to teach her mere hours prior. Eyes seemingly glowing the same bright blue, resolutely set anywhere and everywhere but on her own. She might have believed it wasn’t done consciously, that Hades just so happened not to look her way, but she wasn’t so naïve. The tension in his broad shoulders, the tight fist on his left hand, the covertly defensive stature, Hades knew she was staring and was purposefully not acknowledging it.

Mal had seen a side to her father that she daren’t even hope existed. _He cared_. She knew that for a fact. Why else would he have come?

_I didn’t exactly have much choice_.

Hades' words echoed around her head. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was doing what he had to, to be left in peace; to get Mal to leave him in peace. She couldn’t bring herself to believe that though. Perhaps it was faith in a man who rationally deserved none, or her sheer inability to accept that he did not care, but she refused to believe that he did this simply because he had to.

Mal almost missed Audrey’s words, so caught up in her staring that the apology sounded far away, like a whisper. She managed to tear her eyes from Hades, reluctant to do so, scared that if she did, he might disappear and leave her again. But she did, and by the time she’d managed to process the words, Mal was already stepping forward to grab hold of Audrey’s hands. The misplaced guilt in her eyes- guilt which Mal bore too, which Mal deserved to bare- almost caused her to stumble over her own apology.

“I have owed you an apology for a very long time now,” Mal managed, eyes glassy as it fully sank in. Mal had single-handedly ruined someone’s life; she’d stolen it, as if she actually had a _right_ to win the guy, to get the crown. If today had proved anything, it was that Mal really wasn’t fit to be queen, no matter how much she loved Ben or how much she wanted to do what was right.

Part of her was rotten. She wasn’t selfless like Evie, or a leader like Uma. She wasn’t inherently good like Ben or unwaveringly determined like Audrey. Mal wasn’t fit to be queen or deserving of Audrey’s apology. She wasn’t deserving of the praise she’d received for stopping- almost killing- the princess, nor the forgiveness Evie had so easily given her. No matter how much she tried to change, she’d always be Mal from the Isle: daughter of Maleficent and the God of the Underworld. Mal wasn’t fit to be queen, and she knew she never would be.

She was suddenly overwhelmingly embarrassed. She’d been foolish to think, even for a second, that she could do this, that she could take Audrey’s place. The place that she’d been training to assume her entire life, learning and growing alongside Ben until Mal came along.

_Ben. _

Ben’s presence had become something she relied on to calm her, to make her feel safe, but as he stood beside her as he too apologised, Mal felt her skin prickle. She had to make a conscious effort not to squirm away from his closeness, almost managing to, other than the slight flinch of her arm as he brushed against it. Mal was endlessly thankful that everyone’s eyes, like they had been since she awoke, were locked on Audrey. Or rather, everyone’s but one.

Mal could feel it, Hades eyes piercing into her. Never had she been more aware of another person than of him. She’d spent this entire time trying to catch his eye but now she was nervous; nervous to meet his burning gaze which seemed to bore right into her. It made her warm, hot, as her skin prickled in a way far more pleasant than before. Tentatively she raised her eyes.

As green met blue, as forest met rain, everything she’d felt- the pent-up frustration, the self-loathing, the anger and guilt- it all melted like snow in the sun. She was a puddle beneath his gaze, yet she felt completely ablaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** I'd like to say that the next chapter will be up soon, heaven forbid you guys deserve it with all the continuous support for this story, but realistically I'm not sure when it'll be up. I've already started it though so the wait definitely shouldn't be as long as last time.**


	4. FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SURPRISE! So, I'm just going to put this up here and pretend that it hasn't been... well, months since I last updated this. Terribly sorry about that. **
> 
> **Thank you for all the comments and continued support for this story, I feel like I've massively cheated all of you by not doing this sooner, but unfortunately, life got in the way and as much as I wished it hadn't this got pushed to the end of the list of things which needed doing. So I really am sorry for dragging this out for so long. I hope y'all can forgive me (side note, I've never said 'y'all' before and I'm seriously beginning to regret my life choices, thank you, that is all). **

Suddenly, she was drowning, and all she could feel was the weight on her chest as she fought to choke in breathes of air. She couldn’t, didn’t know how to stop herself from sinking deeper and deeper.

Suddenly, she was drowning, and he was walking away, and she didn’t know how to breath without him there. Without his eyes which burned her skin, without his words which caused her stomach to twist and flip, without him grounding her, watching her, holding her above water.

Without him, she was drowning. Drowning within her own mind, within memories of a past with an absent father, and wretched dreams of a future without him.

*****

One heroic act didn’t make someone a hero, nor did it make people forget a lifetime of wrongdoings. She’d not been naïve enough to believe that after everything he’d done he’d be allowed to stay. Hell, she wasn’t even sure he’d want to. _Perhaps for me?_ She knew she shouldn’t fool herself with such silly notions but that didn’t stop her heart from hammering like that of a hummingbird. She wanted him to want her, to be with her.

Yes, Hades had saved Audrey’s life, but he was still a villain to everyone in Auradon. _Everyone but me._ Her mind chimed in unhelpfully; she hadn’t forgotten the lifetime of pain and abandonment issues the man had caused her, but she was continually edging closer to forgiving them. Whether he deserved her forgiveness or not, she was still unsure, but that didn’t stop the dull ache which overcame her body as he was ordered to leave. The low rumble of voices surrounding her faded away as her eyes followed his retreating back.

Her feet moved before the thought to follow had even crossed her mind. Hades was being led away and Mal couldn’t stop herself from following. Had she been aware enough, she may have caught the look of concern souring her best friends features, the worry which had etched its way into the subtle frown which furrowed Evie’s brow. But her body moved without thought, instinctively following after the man who she’d found overwhelming amounts of comfort in the few short hours she’d been with him. Hours which felt like years, which felt like a lifetime. A lifetime she’d never known yet had always found herself aching for. A lifetime she’d dare not admit how damaging its absence had been. A lifetime without a man who she knew she should hate for all the sorrow he’d caused, yet found herself longing for just a few more moments with.

As she turned the corner out of Audrey’s room, heart stuttering and breath catching, she felt words getting caught in her throat. A thousand things she should say – wanted to say – the thanks and apologises and accusations, all fizzled away as she opened her mouth to speak them. None of them felt right. And as she watched Hades’ walk away, wrists bound as he was escorted by four of the kingdom’s guards, something seemed to break within her. Like an old dam, one left barely standing after years of weathering, it was as though she had finally broken.

“Dad.” The word, foreign on her tongue, was softer than she’d intended, almost a whisper. But the subtle tensing of his shoulders and the flex of his bound hands behind his back stopped Mal from repeating herself. As he turned and his eyes met hers she felt as though she could finally breathe again. She gasped deeply, desperately, as though she’d been starved of air for a hundred years.

Her mouth fell open, a thousand words swimming in her mind yet none still fitting exactly what she wanted to express. She paused for a moment, urging her broken thoughts to come together. She tried for something reminiscent of the Mal before all of this had happened, something equally sarcastic, funny, and the perfect amount of sincere. Perhaps a clever quip about him going soft and helping the ‘good guys’; or maybe a sarcastic dig at him returning to his cave of reclusement. They’d all be carefully constructed fronts, there to hide the way she really felt, of course, but that was normal for her, _safe_. But she came up blank as her mouth once again fell shut.

Mal had always been so good with words. She could easily manipulate, influence someone into doing something she wished with just a few carefully placed words and an innocuous tilt of her head. Her words held so many double-meanings she sometimes even found herself tangled in the web of mischief she’d managed to cause. Of course, this innate power had been silenced to some degree since her arrival in Auradon though she’d never found it difficult to slip back into her old ways when it best suited her. No matter who she was speaking to.

Hades was different though. She’d like to believe that her failure to find the right words was due to the current situation: almost destroying the world might do that to a girl. But she knew, deep down, that if she walked back into Audrey’s room, she could easily find the words to convince everyone in the room whatever it was she wanted. Her difficulty here wasn’t because of the circumstances, it was because of _him_. She couldn’t lie to him, no matter how hard she tried.

“Now I’m going to have to miss you all over again.” Mal knew the words made her sound weak. And the fact that she knew that, didn’t stop her from being any less annoyed with herself for it. Mal was no stranger to pain and loss, though vulnerability had always been something she’d managed to hide. Until now, it seemed. It took every ounce of her self-control not to run straight into Hades’ arms. To inhale the smoky, worn-leather scent which seemed to follow him.

Human contact wasn’t something she was used to, hugs even less so. It wasn’t as if her mother had been the loving sort; never there with a comforting hug when Mal was injured or a kiss goodnight before she fell asleep. Even Ben, the man she was to marry, didn’t touch her as often as Mal had assumed was normal in most relationships. Perhaps it was their busy schedules? Or maybe it was just Mal.

It wasn’t as though it was something she often sort out, she didn’t need human contact like most people did, she’d learnt from a young age how to comfort herself when she needed. Which is why the urge to hold, to touch, to _feel_, Hades was so overwhelmingly intense. She dared not think how a man she barely knew could have such a hold on her- as though an invisible rope was constantly pulling her closer. That was a thought better left for later. Or rather left alone completely.

Her hands formed tight fists, nails biting into the soft flesh of her palms to pull her focus away from what she wanted to do. She ignored the dull ache pulsing within her chest and the tremble of her fisted hands as she focussed on keeping her feet firmly planted on the ground.

“Thanks for a glimpse of the sun,” His words were casual, accompanied by a smile which Mal could tell didn’t reach his eyes. It was forced and practised and too much for her. It was then that she realised just how similar she was to Hades. His words precisely selected. His expression perfectly calculated. They told her everything. Everything and nothing. It was exactly what she did – offering people enough to seem genuine, but hiding anything that was truly sincere. Anything which could be used against you.

She was suddenly walking towards him, feet moving once again of their own accord, until she was close enough to be engulfed by weathered leather and firewood. She could see the silent question in Hades’ eyes, one which mirrored her own uncertainty.

She was startling aware that they were not alone in the corridor, that multiple pairs of eyes were watching them, but it didn’t stop her. It only made her hesitate for a moment before she brought a hand up to cup Hades’ stubbled jaw and ran her thumb slowly across his cheekbone – a gesture more tender than most she’d ever offered. Her other hand came to rest just below his shoulder as leant up to press her lips to his cheek.

It was nothing more than a brush of lips against skin, yet the moment they touched, something seemed to shift. She felt it in the way her eyes fluttered shut, and in the way her hand started to shake. She felt it in the way Hades body tensed beneath her touch, and in the way he seemed to relax into it. Something seemed to shift as she pulled away, just enough to look up into his eyes. She felt her own fill with tears she refused to let fall, her lips curving up into a sad smile.

Hades’ eyes flicked across her face, seemingly searching for something unknown to Mal. She let him look, knowing that to Hades’ she was probably an open-book, unable to hide behind the masks and faces which usually protected her. She’d learned that she couldn’t hide when she was with him.

Mal wasn’t certain whether he’d found what he’d been searching for, but his lips curled upwards into the echo of a smile. She watched him closely as he turned his head to lightly press his lips against her palm, his eyes never leaving hers. Her breath caught as she felt her magic buzzing beneath her skin as it reached out, pulled towards Hades’ own. The flash in Hades’ eyes told her that he had felt it too, despite the heavy irons which shackled and untethered him from most of his power.

She wanted to fall into him, seek comfort in the tight hold of his arms. But the shifting of shoes behind her jolted her back into reality as she remembered where they were. She saw the same realisation strike in the bright eyes she was still looking into and she knew that the moment – their moment of charged electricity and unspoken words – was over. He let out a deep sigh as Mal took a shaky breath, about to move away. But before she could, Hades was leaning closer and she was still.

“Bye, sweet pea,” His lips brushed against the shell of her ear as he spoke quietly enough for the words to be heard only by her. Mal’s heart jumped in the way it had every time he’d used that name. She felt it flutter, then sink at the realisation that this was where they parted ways. Her hand fell from his stubbled cheek, fingers tracing – _memorising_ – the sharp shape of his jaw.

Her fingers brushed against his calloused palm as she took the ember from his outstretched hand as he was once again led away down the corridor. The skin where they’d been joined which had pulsed with electric heat, grew cold as it dropped to her side, curling tightly around the small blue stone.

The final time he glanced back at her, he was changed, mask set firmly back in place. And just like that, the walls she knew had always surrounded his mind – walls which she’d become more than adept at building herself – formed once more, and his eyes became cold. And whether she realised or not, as the frost once again consumed his gaze, it also claimed her heart. A heart near impossible to be thawed.

*****

Mal stood for a long time in that corridor, barely registering the faint sound of doors closing and a car driving away. She was unsure what to do next, whether she should walk back into Audrey’s room or just walk away from it all. The decision was taken from her when she heard her name being called. She turned to see Evie walking towards her with wide worried eyes.

Relief flooded her when she registered who it was, or more accurately, who it wasn’t. She loved Ben. He was kind and honest and a truly great king. But the thought of talking to him, of talking to anyone from Auradon after she’d almost had it destroyed, was too much. Evie, the amazing best friend that she was, seemed to sense Mal’s unease the second she saw her. She looked slightly shocked when she ran her eyes across Mal’s face.

Self-consciously, Mal brought her hand up to her cheek, eyes widening when her fingers came away wet. She’d not even noticed the tears which had finally fallen. Evie’s eyes also flitted down to Mal’s hand which still clung helplessly to the ember as she let out a sigh.

“Let’s get you out of here,” She said softly, tentatively, as if she was worried Mal would dart if she wasn’t careful. Mal couldn’t exactly blame her; if she looked anything like how she felt then Evie was doing a good job not screaming.

When she realised she likely wasn’t going to get a verbal response from her friend, Evie offered Mal a smile and poked her head back through the door she’d came from, likely announcing that they were about to leave. Mal barely registered any of it, and they were back in Evie’s before she could even say ‘boo’.

“Hey, Mal?” Evie’s voice was laced with concern as she sat down beside her friend. Mal found herself wondering when she’d even sat down. She offered Evie a noncommittal hum. “Mal?” She asked again, this time reaching out to hold Mal’s hand in hers.

She didn’t mean to, she’d never been averse to Evie’s touch before, but the feel of Evie’s hand touching hers caused Mal to flinch, snapping her hand away without thought. The second she realised what she’d done, and she looked up to see the poorly hidden hurt in her best friend’s eyes, she felt her insides clench into knots worse than they’d already been.

“I’m sorry, E,” Mal said quickly, reaching out to take her hand before she had a chance to pull it back. “I’m sorry, I spaced out.” It wasn’t much by way of apology, but it was all she could give for now. Mal didn’t even understand herself, she could much less put it into words to offer Evie. Though it seemed to be enough as the hurt vanished from deep brown eyes and was replaced by something akin to pity. Mal didn’t know which was worse.

“Look,” Mal tensed up, knowing that any time Evie started a sentence like that, she probably wouldn’t like it. “To start with, I want you to know that I understand why you didn’t tell me about closing the barrier for good. I know that you thought it was to protect everyone and I’m not mad at you about it.”

Though Evie’s words were no likely meant to make her feel better, Mal immediately felt worse as she realised she’d almost entirely forgotten about how she’d lied to her friends – to everyone – about helping the VKs. She’d become so distracted by trying to save Auradon and, more so, by Hades, that she’d forgotten about lying to her best friend. She opened her mouth to apologise again but was cut off as Evie quickly spoke again, offering her hand a squeeze.

“No. No more apologies, okay?” Evie’s words held an edge which almost dared Mal to argue with her, but Mal knew better having spent the best part of their lives together. Instead, she simply nodded, trying to give a smile though it felt forced and unnatural and no doubt looked the same.

“I don’t know what happened with Hades, and I won’t ask if you don’t want me to. But I do want you to know that I’m here for you, if you need me to be,” Evie’s eyes were knowing, like they always seemed to be nowadays, and Mal’s heart stuttered at the idea of Evie knowing about her return to the Isle when they’d all been turned to stone. Of course, Mal knew that there was no logical way for Evie to know that, yet a part of her brain told her that Evie always knew. Even when she didn’t.

“Thanks,” Mal managed to say, in a voice which was notably more like her usual one. It made Evie smile, for a second, until her eyes drifted down to Mal’s hand which wasn’t clasped in her own. Mal followed her eyes which had landed on her clenched fist and felt her cheeks flood with colour as she tried to move her hand and ember out of sight. Their eyes locked back on each other’s. 

Evie grasped her wrist before she was able to fully move it behind her body and Mal’s breath hitched. She made no attempt to pry open her hand, though, nor did she take her eyes off of Mal’s which were still wide.

“I’m not going to ask, not unless you want me to,” And with that, Evie released both of Mal’s hands and slowly stood up. “I think we both need something to eat, don’t you?”

And just like that, everything appeared to be normal again. Mal was sat on Evie’s couch, listening to Evie potter in the kitchen as she prepared them something to eat, it was now that the boys would usually come bursting through the door after practising for the latest tourney match. Except, the boys didn’t burst through the doors and Evie wasn’t mindlessly humming as she cooked and Mal was suddenly finding it difficult to breathe. Nothing was normal. Not anymore.

Mal looked down at the blue stone she’d been clinging to as if it was the only thing keeping her breathing, her eyes once again filling with tears as the realisation sunk in. Hades was gone, for good this time. The barrier was being closed indefinitely, and that was that. And Hades was gone. Audrey’s life had been ruined because of her selfishness. And Hades was gone. Auradon had nearly been destroyed because she’d been too distracted to protect it. And Hades was gone. She’d lied to her friends, to Ben, even to herself. And most of all, _Hades was gone_.

If someone had asked, Mal was sure she wouldn’t be able to explain. It made no sense, the deep ache as if something she’d relied on her entire life had been ripped away from her. She wasn’t aware you could so deeply miss something which you’d never had to begin with. She’d managed the first 18 years of her life, how this was any different she didn’t understand.

Nothing had changed.

_Everything had changed. _

No, nothing had changed. She’d managed more than adequately without him and she knew she’d manage once again without him. Except, she couldn’t rid the memory of how it felt to be with him from her mind. How she’d felt overwhelmingly warm and comforted; how she’d finally felt whole.

_Whole. _As if a piece of her she’d been unaware she was missing before had finally slotted into place. She hated herself for the fleeting thought. Hades didn’t complete her. He wasn’t her missing piece. This wasn’t a cliché from a fairy tale. She’d managed without her entire life; she didn’t need him now. She’d dealt with his absence, grown accustomed to it. Now was no different.

_Except it was_. She hadn’t fully understood what it meant to miss her father before, not truly being able to miss what you’d never had to begin with. But now, she’d felt how it was to be with him, to feel his arms around her: holding her, protecting her. Before, when she was unaware of the all-consuming bliss which had accompanied her during her time with the man, she could have pretended- pushed away the feelings of pain and loneliness and regret. Now, the thought itself clawed a pit deep into her stomach. A world without him was no more an option than a world without air, a fundamental need which in that moment, Mal knew nothing could stop her from wanting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** I hope this was okay, I'll make no promises but I'll try and write chapter five more quickly... maybe. **
> 
> **Anyhow, I hope everyone's lockdown has gone okay and that everyone is happy, healthy, and wearing your masks. **


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